Shell Game

Camp Victory Gas StationGetting gas in Iraq is nothing like pulling up to your local Shell station in Anytown, USA. As with most things with the Army, filling up your car is anything but a normal experience.

It’s bizarre, actually. First, everything is surrounded by T-Walls. This is the only thing that makes sense to me.

Continue reading

“Yah Mo B There” and Torture

“Yah Mo B There” and Torture

Michael McDonaldI usually go to the same dining facility for lunch every day. I’m a creature of habit. However, I’ve just about had it with the music they play in there.

Most of the time they play what sounds like a Kenny G album.

It’s always on a loop, and it’s always unbearably loud.

It reminds me of scene in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” dealing with Michael McDonald and his song “Yah Mo B There.”

Continue reading

Better Than Evian, It’s Fish Water

Bottled Fish WaterInside this one-liter bottle is the life-blood for any servicemember serving in Iraq — purified, clean fish water.

I’m only half-joking when I call this “fish water.” It’s really the best-tasting purified water I’ve ever had in my life. It even tastes better than Evian or Dasani.

The only catch is that it comes from the same lake water where our demon fish friends live.

Continue reading