Adventures in Driving

Jaywalking SignI’m not going to lie to you. Since arriving in Baghdad, I’ve nearly killed about seven people with my vehicle.

Part of the problem stems from the exceptionally small roads here at Camp Victory. In most cases, two cars can pass one another, but the clearance between the vehicles is small. I once saw two side mirrors collide as two trucks passed each other. It was like a vehicular “high five.”

The lack of stop lights doesn’t help things either, but that’s another story altogether.

Actually, one of the major causes of these near death experiences is that people cross the street without even looking. They expect that cars will yield the right of way to pedestrians, and whereas that’s true, you can’t just dart out in front of a vehicle and expect to walk away without a severe limp.

The best part of nearly killing someone with my vehicle is the “stink eye” I receive when I have to slam on my brakes to keep from killing some idiot crossing the street at an inopportune time. “Yeah, like it’s MY fault you like to jump out in front of cars.”

I would suggest that someone who jaywalks, nearly gets hit, and then cops an attitude about it should not wonder why he eventually ends up with both legs in a cast.

My car seeks to eliminate the dumb and make Iraq a safer place to live. After all, we should leave this place better than we found it.


3 thoughts on “Adventures in Driving

  1. Dad says you need to invest in an Aaugh horn. he said at least you will scare them or release some tension, which ever is more benifical to you. We love ya,


  2. The OOGAH horn was my idea but it should also play Dixie (like the General Lee in Dukes of Hazzard). As far as traffic lights go, read my response about the Electricity Gods that you don’t talk to. The blood soaked bumper is a good management indicator but recommend mounting a 105 MM howitzer on the center-line of the hood, cleverly disguised as a vintage OOGAH horn.

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