Liquid Death

Liquid DeathThis may not come as a shock to some of you, but I don’t drink coffee. Never liked it. It’s always too hot, and when it’s cold, it sucks.

Nobody else in my office enjoys coffee either, which is why the coffee pot in this picture is covered in desert dust.

Now, I’ve worked at a lot of places, but I have never worked any place where not a single soul drank coffee. I bet if there were a Starbucks, they would drink the coffee.

What’s amusing to me is not that the coffee maker is covered in desert dust or the fact that a pot is labeled liquid death. It’s the instructions (seen below).

For the benefit of those reading via RSS, I’ll transcribe:

The Rules for The Making of a Coffee Drinke

1) With thy spoon, measure forth 6 full spoones of coffee mix
2) Addest thou 1 bottle of water, and then addest thou another half bottle
3) Addeth not more than 6 full spoones of the coffee mix, lest thou create liquide death
4) If thou art the one who drinketh the last cup of coffee drinke, maketh more. Be not a Richard.
5) Leaveth not a partial cup of swill in the bottom of the vessel: for if thou does that then thou art surely a Richard.

Liquid Death - Rules